So this is odd, the painful realization that has all gone wrong… And nobody cares at all…

You know, it’s hard enough when you have no relationship with your father, but when your mother bails on you… I feel like dying inside. I hate my life, I hate my everything. How is this even fair?

Am I some kind of slave? Why does everyone think that my life is so easy. wanna hear my day?

I wake up. I go to school. I study. I come home. I study. you know the whole AP thing is not helping. 

I just didn’t clean the citchen, cause I was so tired, I couldn’t stand- and now… well, I’ll tell you what’s now – When I tryed to take and read the newest magazine , she said: Those are mine.  I can’t touch anything in this house now, and I can’t go anywhere..

My sister does nothing, but annoying me.. on purpose… my dad, well, he just doesn’t give a shit about me, and my mom now doesn’t care either.

why?

Cause I’m the stupid -i don’t know what’ , that does nothing, but eat, yell, eat, yell and get carpooled to school (my mom said that sentence) – well, maybe I should give them a reward?

FUCK YOU ALL. I’m tired with trying to apologize, for  what I’m not even that guilty. I’m sick of crying myself to sleep, cause my life is miserable, I’m fucking done with trying to please anyone- cause I don’t need them, I don’t fucking give a shit anymore…

Is wanting a family that wants you is too much to ask for? What have I done so so wrong, to deserve life like this? why can’t I have something, something to chose from – I don’t have anyone I can relay on. I seriously, have no idea what to do now… I’m just feeling broken inside, I feel that I’m bleeding, and my tears are running down my cheeks to tell me one more time that  I have nothing left.

 

Cause I could go to my grandma’s , but then a new scandal will come, and they live too close to home. I need to get away, I need something, somewhere to go…. I don’t know what to do… all I know is I have no one who cares…….

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4 thoughts on “So this is odd, the painful realization that has all gone wrong… And nobody cares at all…

  1. Jen…
    This has totally summed up my life!!! i feel everything that you do and i know exactly what your going through and how you feel! So, maybe we should live with each other, so we can both cry ourselves to sleep together!!! lol!! 😛 i will tell you though, that music helps sooo much for me. I just plug my headphones nd tune out my life completly and sometimes it does make it harder coming back to reality but seriously, music helped me through when i was even considering more than just moving away from home, and just remember your aren’t as trapped as you feel you are sometimes!!!
    Love Laura x x x

      • This weekend if your not busy!!! 😀 reading this blog makes life seem better too you know, ike i can completly relate to just about everything!!! 🙂 thank you, for helping me
        Laura x

    • sure,sure, this weekend is just perfect! 😀 Thank you for making me happy, cause now i know that someone really reads this and cares, cause im sick of all that spam comments.

      hey, maybe you want to chat sometime, I think we’ll have a lot to talk about… I’ll go on skype soon, skype me sweety…devil 🙂

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