And then, something happened. I let go. Lost in oblivion. Dark and silent and complete. I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom…

We think that holding on is what keeps as alive, I say – screw that, it’s letting go! How long will you keep your hopes up when all that happens is someone/ something hurting you? For how long will you fight something that’s invincible? Sooner or later you are gonna have to give up. For a long time I tried to hold on, to believe in my hopes, but the darkness just kept coming after me, it kept hurting me, like cutting with a knife, it kept destroying me, like seperating me from everyone, it kept making me suffer, like crying myself to sleep, and then I woke up.. There I was, sitting in a park, where I once run off to, when I runaway, I was sitting with no one, but myself, but it was more than enough. I felt that I was alone, I felt that I was empty, I felt that I had nothing to hold on to, I was here at this moment, and  only that, and most importantly, I felt free. So as a matter of fact, when I finally stopped listening in all the sages, I started to feel the truth. So all they’ve been telling you before, is mostly bullshit, it’s the easiest way to go – keep your hopes up, as they say. DON”T!! It will only make you believe , make you to promise yourself that soon it will be better, but when the time goes on, and it just isn’t getting any better, you fall apart again, so if you give up and don’t keep your hopes, it’s easy, finally you’re not making promises you can’t keep. You are alone, with no one but yourself, but it’s enough to feel free.


“I realize I’m in one of those stages where I’m mad at the world…It’s like I’m daring the world to push me off a cliff…just to see if I can fly.”

I feel like I am finally coming to my senses. They always try to make it to look like I’m the bad one, the one who doesn’t understand, doesn’t care. And I used to believe it, cause I just didn’t know who I am, but now I do, now I know that I was always wrong in a right way. Cause, actually, I’m the only one that does care, the only one who does understand! Now, isn’t that just silly? It appears that actually everybody was lying to me, to themselves, but now I know, I’m right. So that’s enough I’m not letting anyone to step on my head anymore, I am not letting people to take advantage of me, cause I’m so done with that. Yes, I’m mad, but I will not show that, cause it just doesn’t matter. Yes, I know I’m right, but I won’t tell, cause it’s just easier. Yes, I know that I can’t live like this, but I have to, cause apparently, some people just have to live like that, even though they deserve better. But just wait, cause one day, one day I will help all the people who have to live this way, I’m going to destroy, mentally destroy people who make everybody believe that they are innocent, while they are actually killing others WHO ARE innocent. What’s up with those people? How can they be so false and so evil[ish] and everybody thinks they are great, friendly and amazing? What the hell is happening to the world? We just don’t see clearly anymore. We just don’t. And I know, yes, I am angry at the whole world now, but I like to dare it to kill me, cause it just can’t, I”m way too smart for that. I’m way too mature for that. And soon everybody who is not, will be, cause I’m not just letting the world to destroy itself!