You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.

I know I haven’t been writing for a while now and that is maybe because I’ve spent last 2 months pretty much just locking myself out of this reality… I am just relaxing and not thinking about anything…. what a waste of time huh? but when actually this is just a silence before the storm… I haven’t even been myself in last few posts huh? My blog suddenly shows that my life has become this wonderful place when it’s really not. Lie after lie… I lie to myself… I tell you it’s okay, I lie…But I only do that because I am trying to believe that lie myself. It’s easier to believe I’m fine than talk it out when nobody really cares… It’s easier to cry it out when nobody ever hears… It is so easy…. so easy… until it’s not anymore… til it becomes a nightmare chasing you in your own dreams… til it becomes reality you can’t escape by lying to them all… What difference will there be if nothing has changed til this day? What reason is there to talk if it always ends up the same? How do you say,what you’re feeling, out loud when really there is just pain. How do you make them realize that nothing is ever fine. How do you make them see – there’s nothing besides pain. You close your eyes and you fly… you close your eyes and you love… you close your eyes and you’re alive… You close your eyes to be alright. But when you close your eyes a tear falls… and another follows… you don’t control it anymore.. it’s not alright.. it’s not fInE. IT’S NOT OKAY. You start yelling… you yell.. you scream.. and then you stop.. just for a second you stop… it goes through your head, like a movie that’s been put together of all the memories that have made you cry… You see how it has never been good… you see how all he’s done is hurt you… you see that it has been that way ever since you were a kid… You see the conversations you’ve had… you see how he has always made you cry.. You see how you’ve waited til the day you’d get away… you see it all…. it takes a while to realize… you are not there… you never were… you never will… you realize you don’t really care where you’re going to… as long as it’s further away from home… you see how people think what it’s like to be in your shoes.. when they really don’t see the truth… so you live the lie… you live the masquerade… and sit there silent… like if you were held in hostage…. no not like.. you are… and you can’t get away… never could… but you know that soon you will be ready… and soon you can… You think of the day you can tell him that’s over.. no more hurting you… no more making you cry… you sit quietly and wait for the day… for the day he realizes he screwed it all up… for the day he’ll realize he has hurt you… you close your eyes and you think of that day…. and suddenly you fall asleep thinking that soon… soon you will be okay…that soon you’ll fly away from this nightmare that has taken over your life… and then… then… then it really is alright…. not because you have closed your eyes… but you have closed your heart on him.






Your stomach shouldn’t be a waist basket. ~

Hey everyone! I’m here to share you the best weight loosing tips I’ve found and/or used myself, which really work. 20 tips from which if you used 5 or 10, you’d already begin a right path. Hope it helps!:)

1. Find your REAL motivation… Many people suggest that you imagine how great you’d look or how much attention you may get but that one never seemed to work for me.. .well it did at first but I never stayed motivated for a long time.

2. Learn to accept your flaws in order to change them. Especially if you’re one of the “eat to cure pain” people then this is exactly your key to succesfully loosing weight. If you’re happy and not focused on the overweight you have as the worst thing that could possibly happen to anyone, you will more likely to realize that the only reason you should get fit is FOR YOURSELF. And why exactly would this cause you problems? If you think you look good already you will more likely easily look even better when you don’t feel that loosing weight is your number one priority but just another step into making yourself the person you want to see.

3. When you’re on a diet, don’t think of it that way. Don’t say “oh no , I can’t eat potatoes, cause I’m on a diet”, instead of that try saying ” I’ve recently begun practising a healthier lifestyle and this food is not really healthy for me”

4. Don’t think that when you’re on a diet you have to eat this low fat products, that’s a lie. You have to find delicious foods that are low fat and low calories. I will share some good recipes some other day, so prepare to see how delicious can loosing weight be.

5. If you don’t like to excersise, go for a swim and instead of fooling around in the pool, swim back and forward for 10 minutes straight or, for example, ride a bike on the beach with your friend, it will be a good excersise and also a good time. Remember that excersising is not only doing push ups and sit ups but it’s a really wide term. Volleyball, basketball, handball, soccer, golf, bowling, tennis, swimming, biking, running, WALKING, dancing – these are all excersises. My biggest advice would be to avoid sports you don’t like because you will soon loose motivation and also when you do this sport don’t think about loosing your weight but about being the best in the sport or excersise. And one more thing – you should excersise on a daily basis (not only while you’re overweight but after that as well), even walking is okay as long as you do it daily. Don’t go without an excersise more than 2 days straight under any circumstances. 

6. Take photos of yourself. Take a photo with yourself before the program and then do it every 5 days so you can visually see the progress you’re making because otherwise you see the scales show less but you see no improvement at all, I’ve been there, I know what the feeling is like when you feel like you’re doing so much and nothing happens, so now I use this method.

7. I don’t know if it is just me but while I’m on vacation (now I’m in Spain for example) and it really hot outside I just don’t feel like eating. What should you do? I do the following – I drink much liquid. You need to drink at least 8 glasses of water. Well that seems a lot right? Well, imagine if you drunk one glass of water every hour you’re awake. It isn’t too hard to drink a glass in an hour, right? .. then once a day I eat salad with salad cream, it is healthy but still has enough calories for me to go without eating more.

8. If you’re a coca-cola addict like me, choose coca-cola LIGHT instead of any other. Why? It has less sugar in it (and as we know – sugar is your worst enemy) and it has less calories, it’s still not healthy but it’s so much better, there are many popular diets that ALLOW coca-cola light but absolutely don’t support any other soft drink.

9. Don’t think that while you’re on your healthy path to the ideal weight you are not allowed to eat grilled chicken for example. Just don’t add oil or fats. AVOID ketchup! You can eat any fish and almost every meat if you just prepare it right.

10. One of the most important things in loosing weight or being healthy is a good night sleep. Did you know that sleeping hours from 10pm-12am each is like two hours of sleep later in night? Basically when you sleep from 10 to 12 you have slept 4 hours not 2, but, for example, 12 to 2 is already only 2 hours. If you have problems with sleep like me, drink tea before you go to sleep, do yoga, breathing excersises. ABSOLUTELY don’t go to bed right after you’ve watched TV or sat at the computer. I went to a sleep-doctor and she said me that is the most absurd thing to do.

11. This one works for most of people, all the other just think this is stupid.Buy yourself an expensive dress or suit in the size your goal is to be, because if you buy a cheap one it wont motivate you in getting in that piece of clothing.

12. If you decide to take running as your excersise, listen to your i-pod while running, think about the song not the miles you’re running, it really helps to improve your performance. How? Easy, all problems are the problems we make ourselves – by saying I can’t, I couldn’t, no way I can..

13. Take a little post-it note and write on your goal, simply, for example, 57kg’s, 130lbs, HAPPY etc. and stick it on your desk computer or whatever. ABSOLUTELY DO : write a sentece on a post-it note ” Every time you choose a chocolate biscuit instead of an apple, you choose to be fat” . Let that sentece rule your life.

14.Read the book Paul Bragg “The miracle of fasting” – it is an absolutely amazing way to clean your body from all the poision it has, all the hormones, nicotine or whatever. I’m not saying YOU HAVE to do this, just read it and if you still don’t feel like doing it fine.

15.Avoid eating in restaurants and caffes because it is the safest way to gaining weight. What to do if you have to go out to eat? There are two options – first one eat celeries, they are miracle workers, they break down fat in you body, eat celeries after every meal. I personally hate celeries that’s why me and my mom found an alternative to that one. There are these pills that very very natural and they work, they are like celeries packed in one little pill. The pills are called “liposinol“. The minus? Really expensive.

16. Don’t obsess over scale. You have to weigh yourself daily, yes, but not every few hours. The best way of finding out the most precise reading of your weight, you have to weigh yourself every morning, at the same time, before eating, dry, and either always before going to bathroom or after. FOR WOMEN : about 1 week before your menstruations you may gain 2-4lbs but don’t freak out, they will dissapear after your menstruations are over.

17. Find an alternative to eating. People usually eat a lot when they’re bored, when they have nothing to do. You can join a bookclub, study a language, even play poker to keep you from eating.

18. 50% of the time when people THINK they are hungry, they are actually just thirsty.

19. If you say “I’m fat and I’m not able to lose weight”, you’re right. Buddha saying is that we and the world around as are what we think.Positive thinking is also an important part of your weight-loss program.

20. Every time you want to give up, remember why were you holding on for so long.