How to : fuck up your life before turning 18

So, this is actually an older post of mine from a different blog, but I decided that it was worth improving and re-posting. It is still, however, a bit exaggerated, but the topic deserves so much attention, because the adolescents of our time just do some shocking things and ruin their lives before they have even started, so here is my top 10 ways of how to accomplish that fast. 🙂

10. He’s right, being a virgin is not cool, I have to have sex with him pronto.

Uhm, what about getting your head checked first? Talk about peer pressure, but there are just some topics and decisions which should be only your own. If your boyfriend loves you, he won’t need to unbutton your shirt to get a better view of your heart. And if you think sex is going to make the relationship work and that it is the best way to make him stick around, you’re wrong, that’s the easiest way to let him go! I mean, I’ve never been the one to obsess over the significance of virginity, but still.. it’s your body, your life and you don’t have to do what you don’t truly want to.


9. I don’t need a life. I just need my boo.

We can try to deny it to our families, to our friends and even to ourselves, but most of mistakes women make are related to love and men. I love the saying : “Brain is an amazing organ, which works 24/7 from the moment we’re born until the moment we fall in love”. That pretty much says it all. You can not guarantee that your relationship will last forever, even if it may seem so right now. No one can promise you “forever”, and if they do, that’s a big, fat lie. You can not give up your dream to go to THAT ONE university or that ONE country you’ve always wanted to go to only because he doesn’t want you to leave him.

8. Wait!! I tattooed your face on my chest!

Face or a name, it doesn’t matter, but the idea itself is just insane! I’ve seen pictures of 16 year-old’s with their boyfriends-of-2-weeks names permanently tattooed on their chest, back or whatever. What the fuck people? Why would you do something like that?

7. Let me post my nudes on facebook and then complain about being sexually assaulted

Amongst my acquaintances I’ve lately seen really weird pictures on facebook, such as pictures of dicks and sex scenes from their parties (or orgies, if I may). Sure, we all have those kind of pictures, but why post them on facebook? Those are not the frames that need to be shown to the whole world and “Y.O.L.O.” or not, there are just some borders… And then you complain about how random old men just send you inappropriate messages…. Well, go and figure, why, sweety….

6. Too cool for school.

Making fun of those smart kids, huh? Mocking people about knowing what they’ll do in 5 years? Sure parties are more fun than going to school and having a responsible life as a young adult. You think independence is about how late your parents let you stay out? Or how much they don’t care that you drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes? How about working on being successful? How about finding a job? How about paying for your own shit  before you state yourself old and independent enough to “fuck school” and just live your own way? (which is basically being a trashy slut, well known around the town for the blow-jobs she gives) No, I’m not trying to be mean, I am trying to say : SNAP OUT OF IT, WHILE IT’S NOT TOO LATE!

5. I am going to go on drugs, drink every day, cause I am so cool and, fuck it, Y.O.L.O., right?

WRONG! And while you’re thinking that this is just the same point mentioned earlier, well,  yes and no. I see people aged 14-17 tweeting about how they’re getting drunk every day of the summer, every day of the school year and just all the time and then they go all – Y.O.L.O. – I need to do crazy shit like that, because I am young and wild and free… well, if you don’t stop you might die from AIDS, HIV or some other nasty disease! Party on!? There is a reason why you are not allowed to drink, use drugs, have sex or smoke at a particular age (or in general), because it means you are a KID. Drinking 2 beers before switching on Disney Channel does not make you an adult, sorry to be the one to break it to you….

4. I am too fat! Nobody likes me! I have to try the last option…….

Yes, ladies, I am speaking about making yourself throw-up after every meal. I am talking about you forcing your body to its limits, ruining your health. I have tried this one personally, and believe me, you do not want to be there. Some days you just can’t get up, because the pain in your stomach is just so strong, other days you just can’t look anyone (even yourself) in the eyes because of the shame you feel about what you’re doing. Even if it helps to lose the weight, it is going to affect your health in long-term. And it is not worth it, trust me!

3. My boyfriend of 2 weeks just dumped me, I am going to commit a suicide

Teenage girls and women in general tend to exaggerate everything, blowing everything out of proportion. While it may seem that it is the end of your world and your life sucks, it is just a bad day, you can’t let a bad day suggest you have a bad life. You are so young, you are so much stronger than you think and being an attention whore saying you will, threatening, black-mailing or actually committing a suicide is an absolutely fucked up idea, so if you are even considering that, get help, and it will get better.

2. My mom disagrees, let’s move in together!

So imagine a 16 year old girl dating a 45 year old man and her parents, of course, don’t agree, she goes off to an another country and starts a life with him. I am all about open-mindeness and age being just a number (trust me), but that is just plain insane! And not only this situation, just moving in with someone only because your parents disagree is a cheap way of rebellion you’ll definitely regret later in your life. And if you don’t, tell me your story and make me fucking believe it, cause I won’t.

1. 16 and pregnant

Ok, time for my personal favorite and the winner, the number 1 idiotic thing you can do as a teenager. BOOM! And I know this is always where the teen moms will cut in and be like ” hey, it’s not like it was planned!”. Well, listen! Don’t get into a sexual relationship if you are not responsible enough to take care of birth control and making sure you don’t get pregnant… How do the rest of us, women, manage to not get pregnant? It is a foolish and irresponsible, fucking insane thing to do! It’s not the child’s fault you are not ready to be a mother nor provide her a good life.

One more thing that made me put this as the number 1 is the internet activity on commenting the 15 year old swimmer from Lithuania Ruta Meilutyte who won a gold medal in swimming in the London Olympics this year about wondering if she is a prude and other disgusting, unnecessary comments on her sexual life. I made a comment back then , : ” Some choose to be 16 and pregnant and some are 15 and Olympic champions”. I just want to repeat one more time one of my all time favorite quotes I’ve seen on the internet : “16 and pregnant? How about 18 and graduated? 22 and successful?

So, dear teenage girl! I am speaking out to you! Take your life in your own hands, meaning not wasting your life, but making it something important and worth living in 10 years from now on. After all, we do only live once, right? 🙂



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