10 hours away from my senior year of high-school, I am having a throwback at the last 11 years. A lot has happened, I have grown into an individual with its own beliefs.
Just a week ago I was mad at myself at how little I had done this summer, but little did I know – how much had I accomplished. I am not driven by self loathing on a daily basis anymore. I finally believe I can and that I am who I am, and I am proud of that. I have gotten rid of my depression and can now live without an antidepressant. I know who are my friends and who are not, and I’ve learned to accept both. I have finally grown up.
I remember my parents always used to tell me that a mess in your head usually reflects in mess in your surroundings and vice-versa. So yesterday I spent 8 hours cleaning, tidying and reorganizing my apartment and just in time for the new school year I am ready to reflect the tidiness in my school work and everything else I do.
No matter what happens from here, this year holds a lot for me. The first big thing is applying for my dream universities, then going to London for UKCAT and BMAT tests. I also will get my drivers license this fall. I know that the IB final year will require all my strength, but I feel that in the end it will be all worth it and that I will once again surprise everyone with just how much I can achieve when I set my mind to it.
The thing I look forward to is the time after exams next June, because I will be finally doing my breast reduction surgery, which means I will be normal.
This just seems the time I was hoping for when I was suicidal and depressed – the time when it all gets better and I have my chance of starting over.
I have fixed the root of my problems – my problems with myself, therefore I am ready to conquer the world now, because you can’t make the world believe in you, if you don’t believe in yourself.
I wish all you a good year of studies. Study hard and be good.