The only person standing in your way most of the time is you.

10 hours away from my senior year of high-school, I am having a throwback at the last 11 years. A lot has happened, I have grown into an individual with its own beliefs. Just a week ago I was mad … Continue reading

How to : fuck up your life before turning 18

So, this is actually an older post of mine from a different blog, but I decided that it was worth improving and re-posting. It is still, however, a bit exaggerated, but the topic deserves so much attention, because the adolescents … Continue reading

“After all of my running… I’m finally coming…Home “

She was an extraordinary girl. She had always enjoyed traveling, the further she went, the more she felt at home. They say home is where the heart is and in her home-land her heart had been shattered in million pieces … Continue reading

A middle aged adolescent

Although most of middle aged people would still call me a child, I beg to differ. I am at, what I believe is one of the toughest ages to be at, when you have to make decisions that will affect … Continue reading

I have found that if you love life, life will love you back.

I never quite understood why they say that opposites attract, because in my experience I’ve noticed a tendency of attitude to attract similar attitude, a person to attract a similar person. I think that these “opposites attract” cases are just … Continue reading

One shoe doesn’t fit everyone.

I wanted to open up with you and tell you the story of how I went against what is believed to be right, only to find myself in the best place I’ve been in yet. Society is full of what … Continue reading

Stay true to yourself because there are very few people who will stay true to you.

It’s never your enemies that get you. It’s always your own people.The ones you hate don’t have the power  to hurt you. I know I’ve always said everything depends on the way you perceive it, but sometimes you don’t really get options. See, I never thought I’d be starting to write about people I know, but I’m tired of acting as if I was fine. “It is very difficult to make me mad” – I always say, but it’s really not that hard these days… because no matter what I do, others seem to know better. No matter what I say, others seem to have heard something else therefor I choose to take my journey of life alone. It may be wrong but I was proven one more time that the only person you can really trust is you yourself.  See the weirdest part is being mad at people for doing what they are doing to you when you hate yourself deeply for the exact same thing you’ve done. So what if it is my biggest regret of all? So what if I have never felt this guilty for anything? So what? I did it. I am a bitch too. At least I have the guts to admit it. See, I hate drama, I really can’t stand it at all, so I’ve stopped contacting people who bring that in my life. And right now I’m scared for my life. I’m scared from the person I’ve become – someone who doesn’t take school seriously AT ALL, someone who does stuff to regret with all my heart later, this feeling of emptiness and sorrow…. I hate myself more than I hate these people who are trying to ruin my life actually. Because a friend of mine said : “the only person who can ruin your life is you yourself”, and she was right. I was denying it though…. but I just don’t see a point of anything anymore. My life is so fucked up again…. more than ever perhaps… I’m in the middle of drama I was trying to avoid. See, there is a difference between when realizing your life has been ruined and when you have ruined your own life. And let me just tell you that I am feeling nothing right now. Nothing at all. Just regret and disappointment in myself. And that is the worst part. I can act I don’t care about what others say or do, but I can’t deny I’ve ruined my own life, my own feelings, friendships. I’m the only cause for all of my problems and long time issues. I can accuse whoever I want to accuse for my problems but in the end I should have known better than trusting people who don’t care anyways. And why should they? In the end life always is about saving yourself… You don’t really think about who you’re leaving behind on the sinking ship your running away from… you don’t think about what you meant to them… you don’t think about what they would have done and actually DID for you, do you? And so on, disappointment after disappointment you eventually end up alone and lonely. No matter how many people are there around you. You’re on your own in sea full of sharks and no one will save you when it comes to them or you. Despite the desperate attempts to be angry at others, I end up feeling sorry for them… sorry for you… sorry for your miserable life in denial… life where drama is the way to tell people what you think… where talking behind ones back counts as communicating with the person. And in the end I sit here with an empty heart but I still have more than you do. I have myself. Struggled one, I agree, but I have one. You have no one, you’re a nobody on it’s own. See, I once was there to catch you when you fell but now I’d rather let you face your life on your own…. alone.  And even though in your opinion  I may be completely wrong about the whole thing, because you know you are the most popular person in the World, the smartest kid in school and most probably the prettiest person in the room. you are just a drama queen who somehow thinks that my life is miserable, you’re the one desperately trying to get attention by talking about it so you might as well stop while it’s not too late. It’s me, I get it, people are people, just human beings, they make mistakes, we make mistakes. But when you do, just admit it. Save your soul before it’s sent to burn in the eternal flames of repentance.

If you can dream it, you can do it. / Walt Disney /

Take steps to come closer to your dreams, take baby steps, don’t rush. If you could find your way around the action it would be nice, but it just doesn’t work that way. KNOWING IS NOT ENOUGH! You must take action. Take baby steps, don’t run,  go a little closer, like approaching a bird, while afraid of scaring it away. And most importantly – DREAM. Because that is where the ideas come from. Don’t be afraid to dream, don’t lock away your dreams, never throw them away, cause one day they might be on the to-do list not what-if list. If right now it is your dream, you’re just not mature enough to execute them into reality, wait, don’t forget about them. The best ideas at first seem crazy, if they don’t they aren’t any good. I, for example, have many crazy ideas which all have come from dreams.  I still don’t know if I’ll ever have the courage to realize any of them, but hey, I’m getting there. I’ve realized what seemed impossible to me few months ago, that really made me believe that I can do just about anything when I’m really determined to. The other thing that concerns me is what my family would think if I started going for my dreams. I know – it’s so stupid. But I’ve always been really good at school, especially math, physics etc. but now I want to do something you can do when you’re brainless (well almost, you need to have logical thinking)…Third concern of mine is that even if I was about to realize my dreams – I can’t do it here, there is no future prospects for that here, I would have to go all over the world, which makes it even harder to do . But no, I’m not giving up, I’ve put the ideas on record, so when I am ready for them I have them. The more I dream and the more I move forward, the more I realize – I can do whatever I want to if I just thought of it first. If you can dream it, you can do it. SO DO IT!

 

“Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.”

Hey, everyone. I know I haven’t posted anything for a while now, but I just needed to clear my head… I have so much to say… So this post consists of 2 parts, in part 1 I talk about what’s happening in my life, about my dreams, and my goals etc. but part 2 is philosophical – as usual – about changes [this time I suggest them]… so if you don’t care about my life and what’s on my mind, you might as well skip part 1. 🙂

[part 1]

So remember my post “impatience” ? Well, everything worked out for me. So I am an example how everything and anything that seems impossible can easily become your reality, it just depends on how determined you are…I was doing everything I can to achieve this….and now all the crazy and unreachable dreams of mine are a step or two closer…in a very reachable way… So I know what I have to do now…and what I’m going to do now… I’ve never been more sure… Let me to introduce you to my new lifestyle

First of all after I reach one goal, I will chose and go for another, because that way I keep my life full of challenges…and I keep on developing myself..Now that I’ve reached this, I have time until september to lose 16lbs(8kg), and I can do it, I know it, I will run 1,8miles (3km) every day, plus I will eat more healthy. (btw check out this diet plan – it is TOTALLY WORKING, I swear – DUKAN DIET ) you don’t have to pay the money though, I can email you a free ebook of the diet plan if you need. 🙂 just post below your e-mail, and I’ll send it to you within 24 hours. 🙂

Secondly, starting with june 10th I will work on becoming more organized, I’ll never leave anything to the last moment..Next year I’m going to be a straight-A-student , plus I’ll learn Spanish.

At last, but not least – as soon as I finish my current goal plan (what I’ve mentioned above) ” ready for the IB” – I will set the next goal…and with every step I go – I will get closer to feeling good about myself, my abilities, my achievements and success… I will be the person I’ve always wanted to be – the best me.

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[part 2]

This time I’m not here to talk about self-acceptance or self-belief, no, I’m here to talk about fulfilling yourself.. We try to tell everyone that you are happy the way you are, you even try to convince yourself…Then in the “rainy” days, you realize that you’re unhappy, you don’t feel as beautiful as you claim to be… But what we never realize is that those “rainy” days are gifts from above… those are the times you should finally realize- that you need to change something… It’s hard to change your little habits, little flaws… but change your whole life.. .your lifestyle… Dare to be someone else in order to find yourself.. Dress as if you were the only person in the world, sing as if you were the only person in the room, dance as if nobody was watching, laugh as if nobody was hurting you…Dare to be crazy and outgoing….Dare to be quiet and reserved…Dare to be self-confident and emphatic…Dare to be the opposite to the every day you… Look at the small things…think about the details…be a perfectionist…Cause every self-loving woman needs to feel as graceful as a movie star, as beautiful as a supermodel and as happy as person in love…because if you don’t love yourself, nobody will love you…You don’t need to loose those pounds because of someone else, no, you need to loose them if YOU yourself feel like it…you don’t need to be an athlete because someone else wants you to be one, you must want to be one yourself… that is the secret- DO WHAT YOU WAN’T TO DO, INSTEAD OF WHAT OTHERS THINK YOU HAVE TO DO! – that’s the secret for happiness.

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p.s. I have a question… Do you want me to post my progress on losing weight? I guarantee tips that are cheap ( the cost of food) , I’ll give the e-books for free etc. 🙂 Do you think it’s necessary? Please answer below. 🙂 

-Jenn*

“If you do not have a target to aim for, you are going to miss it anyway.” – Clifford Aga

I found this amazing quote today and it got me thinking… See I’ve already told you before that I am a bit concerned about my future, I am afraid of setting my goals too high…not choosing the right target to aim for..But this sentence just made me more confused, but it’s that kind of confusion after what comes the enlightenment. So here it goes…

 

There are few moments in our lives that can confuse us with questions like ” What am I going to do in my future?” “Am I going to be successful?”. “Am I going to make the right career choice?'”, “Is this really what’s meant for me?” (..)…

I actually blame parents, cause they let their children to build these ilusions, big dreams… Sometimes it may become a little more than just that… a lot more – THE target. So you live on with that dream of yours, when one day it crashes, cause you understand how unreachable it is. I know people say “Everything is possible” and now… How many people want to/believe that they are going to be the president of the United States of America? (or any other country for that matter).. I don’t mean to bitch around or something, but it’s IMPOSSIBLE for million people to reach that dream. But there are few who will achieve, am I right? Do you see where I’m going with this?

There is absolutely no guarantee that you will achieve your goal or fulfill your dream, but if you don’t even try – you will never going to achieve it anyways. So, really what is the difference between going for it or not going? In either way you can miss, so whatever, move on, go ahead have a backup plan. I mean, what do you have to lose? Money for studies? SO WHAT? Money is overrated in this material world, you don’t lose your knowledge, you only lose an opportunity, ONE opportunity now, how many other ones are out there? What will you lose- your time? Oh, that’s a good one, I say stop feeling sorry for yourself, working hard isn’t for nothing if even if you don’t get what you wanted. Well, what else? Oh, the faith? Faith is a bullshit, it’s a fairytale, grow up baby, let’s start thinking for real now, ok? Here’s an answer for you – you don’t lose anything at all, you just made a deposit for what to be awarded later light bulb!?!  I’m sure that at age of 60-70 you would rather look back on your youth and say: I was trying to do that, I was trying to do that, I did that, other than – I wanted to do that, I wanted to do that and I never got a chance to try that either cause I was afraid of failure. Well there’s something people often forget regrets are worse than failure. Actually, I don’t even know a word failure it just means you have found 10,000 ways it doesn’t work, or 10,000 paths that are not for you.

Personally, I, would rather regret something I failed to do while trying my best in achieving it, than something I never did because I was afraid I would fail. So what? Get up, move on, go ahead  next move, next destination. See if you know you did your best even though you weren’t the best, it counts for a lot. You made yourself a better person, you made yourself the best, the smartest you there could ever be.

Don’t get me wrong, you probably are now thinking somewhat this ” I can’t rely on one plan, what if it doesn’t work out.”. I never said you should go with one plan, I’m actually that kind of person that always likes having a backup plan. Maybe it is easier to achieve the backup plan first and then go for your real target in full speed.

Sure, maybe I am making a big deal out of nothing, but it just hit me, I feel like I should just keep going for what I used to believe in. How is working hard going to hurt me? Yes, it will be tough, the long working hours and everything, but now I just can’t find a reason to even say “oh,I don’t know about that.” , see, if I don’t get what I want? I’ll get better than people who didn’t work that hard, right? Sometimes you just have to look at situations from different angles, look around yourself and analyze the situation, make conclusions.

I know that we all want to be rich and we all want to have lives where we don’t have to worry about stuff, but let’s face it, it’s never going to be that way. Life is a hell, not a paradise, my dear. It’s what you make it, you will not make anything unless you try. Do you get this one now? 🙂 Working for money is not going to be fun for long, my dear. Sure, the big bucks are nice to have but are you ready to give  your life away for money, wouldn’t you want to be where you want to be? Money, fame  are not the right things to wish you had, believe me, I often forget this myself, but I know what I want to do now, so I’m going to do my best to get there and never regret. I will forget about such words as disappointment, regrets, failure..

See, the targets are really never about the destination, they are about the journey. You don’t have to agree with me, but you’ll never reach the destination if you don’t take the journey, right?

I think I’ve said enough on this topic. I feel like I just threw off 100 pounds of my shoulders.

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jennrocksyourworld

heywhatsupitsjenn@inbox.lv – my new email. 🙂  Feel free to write me your thoughts, questions, suggestions, situations. 🙂