How to : fuck up your life before turning 18

So, this is actually an older post of mine from a different blog, but I decided that it was worth improving and re-posting. It is still, however, a bit exaggerated, but the topic deserves so much attention, because the adolescents … Continue reading

A middle aged adolescent

Although most of middle aged people would still call me a child, I beg to differ. I am at, what I believe is one of the toughest ages to be at, when you have to make decisions that will affect … Continue reading

I have found that if you love life, life will love you back.

I never quite understood why they say that opposites attract, because in my experience I’ve noticed a tendency of attitude to attract similar attitude, a person to attract a similar person. I think that these “opposites attract” cases are just … Continue reading

Think you’re escaping and run into yourself. Longest way round is the shortest way home.

Seems to me people are always searching for second chances and ways to start over new. It’s gotten to a point where some people go under the knife to revert the consequences of a night or several they no longer … Continue reading

Inhaling the breath of Barcelona

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From the minute I stepped my foot in the city of Barcelona, I felt that I was there to fall in love. Not necessarily with a good looking Spanish man this time, but the city itself. I felt something magical … Continue reading

Stay true to yourself because there are very few people who will stay true to you.

It’s never your enemies that get you. It’s always your own people.The ones you hate don’t have the power  to hurt you. I know I’ve always said everything depends on the way you perceive it, but sometimes you don’t really get options. See, I never thought I’d be starting to write about people I know, but I’m tired of acting as if I was fine. “It is very difficult to make me mad” – I always say, but it’s really not that hard these days… because no matter what I do, others seem to know better. No matter what I say, others seem to have heard something else therefor I choose to take my journey of life alone. It may be wrong but I was proven one more time that the only person you can really trust is you yourself.  See the weirdest part is being mad at people for doing what they are doing to you when you hate yourself deeply for the exact same thing you’ve done. So what if it is my biggest regret of all? So what if I have never felt this guilty for anything? So what? I did it. I am a bitch too. At least I have the guts to admit it. See, I hate drama, I really can’t stand it at all, so I’ve stopped contacting people who bring that in my life. And right now I’m scared for my life. I’m scared from the person I’ve become – someone who doesn’t take school seriously AT ALL, someone who does stuff to regret with all my heart later, this feeling of emptiness and sorrow…. I hate myself more than I hate these people who are trying to ruin my life actually. Because a friend of mine said : “the only person who can ruin your life is you yourself”, and she was right. I was denying it though…. but I just don’t see a point of anything anymore. My life is so fucked up again…. more than ever perhaps… I’m in the middle of drama I was trying to avoid. See, there is a difference between when realizing your life has been ruined and when you have ruined your own life. And let me just tell you that I am feeling nothing right now. Nothing at all. Just regret and disappointment in myself. And that is the worst part. I can act I don’t care about what others say or do, but I can’t deny I’ve ruined my own life, my own feelings, friendships. I’m the only cause for all of my problems and long time issues. I can accuse whoever I want to accuse for my problems but in the end I should have known better than trusting people who don’t care anyways. And why should they? In the end life always is about saving yourself… You don’t really think about who you’re leaving behind on the sinking ship your running away from… you don’t think about what you meant to them… you don’t think about what they would have done and actually DID for you, do you? And so on, disappointment after disappointment you eventually end up alone and lonely. No matter how many people are there around you. You’re on your own in sea full of sharks and no one will save you when it comes to them or you. Despite the desperate attempts to be angry at others, I end up feeling sorry for them… sorry for you… sorry for your miserable life in denial… life where drama is the way to tell people what you think… where talking behind ones back counts as communicating with the person. And in the end I sit here with an empty heart but I still have more than you do. I have myself. Struggled one, I agree, but I have one. You have no one, you’re a nobody on it’s own. See, I once was there to catch you when you fell but now I’d rather let you face your life on your own…. alone.  And even though in your opinion  I may be completely wrong about the whole thing, because you know you are the most popular person in the World, the smartest kid in school and most probably the prettiest person in the room. you are just a drama queen who somehow thinks that my life is miserable, you’re the one desperately trying to get attention by talking about it so you might as well stop while it’s not too late. It’s me, I get it, people are people, just human beings, they make mistakes, we make mistakes. But when you do, just admit it. Save your soul before it’s sent to burn in the eternal flames of repentance.

If you can dream it, you can do it. / Walt Disney /

Take steps to come closer to your dreams, take baby steps, don’t rush. If you could find your way around the action it would be nice, but it just doesn’t work that way. KNOWING IS NOT ENOUGH! You must take action. Take baby steps, don’t run,  go a little closer, like approaching a bird, while afraid of scaring it away. And most importantly – DREAM. Because that is where the ideas come from. Don’t be afraid to dream, don’t lock away your dreams, never throw them away, cause one day they might be on the to-do list not what-if list. If right now it is your dream, you’re just not mature enough to execute them into reality, wait, don’t forget about them. The best ideas at first seem crazy, if they don’t they aren’t any good. I, for example, have many crazy ideas which all have come from dreams.  I still don’t know if I’ll ever have the courage to realize any of them, but hey, I’m getting there. I’ve realized what seemed impossible to me few months ago, that really made me believe that I can do just about anything when I’m really determined to. The other thing that concerns me is what my family would think if I started going for my dreams. I know – it’s so stupid. But I’ve always been really good at school, especially math, physics etc. but now I want to do something you can do when you’re brainless (well almost, you need to have logical thinking)…Third concern of mine is that even if I was about to realize my dreams – I can’t do it here, there is no future prospects for that here, I would have to go all over the world, which makes it even harder to do . But no, I’m not giving up, I’ve put the ideas on record, so when I am ready for them I have them. The more I dream and the more I move forward, the more I realize – I can do whatever I want to if I just thought of it first. If you can dream it, you can do it. SO DO IT!

 

“Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.”

Hey, everyone. I know I haven’t posted anything for a while now, but I just needed to clear my head… I have so much to say… So this post consists of 2 parts, in part 1 I talk about what’s happening in my life, about my dreams, and my goals etc. but part 2 is philosophical – as usual – about changes [this time I suggest them]… so if you don’t care about my life and what’s on my mind, you might as well skip part 1. 🙂

[part 1]

So remember my post “impatience” ? Well, everything worked out for me. So I am an example how everything and anything that seems impossible can easily become your reality, it just depends on how determined you are…I was doing everything I can to achieve this….and now all the crazy and unreachable dreams of mine are a step or two closer…in a very reachable way… So I know what I have to do now…and what I’m going to do now… I’ve never been more sure… Let me to introduce you to my new lifestyle

First of all after I reach one goal, I will chose and go for another, because that way I keep my life full of challenges…and I keep on developing myself..Now that I’ve reached this, I have time until september to lose 16lbs(8kg), and I can do it, I know it, I will run 1,8miles (3km) every day, plus I will eat more healthy. (btw check out this diet plan – it is TOTALLY WORKING, I swear – DUKAN DIET ) you don’t have to pay the money though, I can email you a free ebook of the diet plan if you need. 🙂 just post below your e-mail, and I’ll send it to you within 24 hours. 🙂

Secondly, starting with june 10th I will work on becoming more organized, I’ll never leave anything to the last moment..Next year I’m going to be a straight-A-student , plus I’ll learn Spanish.

At last, but not least – as soon as I finish my current goal plan (what I’ve mentioned above) ” ready for the IB” – I will set the next goal…and with every step I go – I will get closer to feeling good about myself, my abilities, my achievements and success… I will be the person I’ve always wanted to be – the best me.

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[part 2]

This time I’m not here to talk about self-acceptance or self-belief, no, I’m here to talk about fulfilling yourself.. We try to tell everyone that you are happy the way you are, you even try to convince yourself…Then in the “rainy” days, you realize that you’re unhappy, you don’t feel as beautiful as you claim to be… But what we never realize is that those “rainy” days are gifts from above… those are the times you should finally realize- that you need to change something… It’s hard to change your little habits, little flaws… but change your whole life.. .your lifestyle… Dare to be someone else in order to find yourself.. Dress as if you were the only person in the world, sing as if you were the only person in the room, dance as if nobody was watching, laugh as if nobody was hurting you…Dare to be crazy and outgoing….Dare to be quiet and reserved…Dare to be self-confident and emphatic…Dare to be the opposite to the every day you… Look at the small things…think about the details…be a perfectionist…Cause every self-loving woman needs to feel as graceful as a movie star, as beautiful as a supermodel and as happy as person in love…because if you don’t love yourself, nobody will love you…You don’t need to loose those pounds because of someone else, no, you need to loose them if YOU yourself feel like it…you don’t need to be an athlete because someone else wants you to be one, you must want to be one yourself… that is the secret- DO WHAT YOU WAN’T TO DO, INSTEAD OF WHAT OTHERS THINK YOU HAVE TO DO! – that’s the secret for happiness.

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p.s. I have a question… Do you want me to post my progress on losing weight? I guarantee tips that are cheap ( the cost of food) , I’ll give the e-books for free etc. 🙂 Do you think it’s necessary? Please answer below. 🙂 

-Jenn*

impatience

Why am I so impatient?Don’t tell me I’m alone…I honestly don’t know what is worse than waiting for me…Been waiting for the exam results for 1,5days now…it feels like 2 weeks already…I know that the results will be available tomorrow…but that is so long…My life can change….I did the biggest step last week by passing the maths test…but this one… who knows… nobody is sure about the results, they are unpredictable…It’s so frustrating to wait… I’m freaking out…. This is a life changing step for me….I mean a step forward my dreams I had almost given up on….the biggest step I could make now…a huge step actually…I wasn’t nervous writing it, only waiting is what is so unbelievably hard…I can’t be the only one to be impatient, can I? I mean why are we so nervous about the waiting phase? I guess it’s because we realize there’s nothing we can do but wait….and the feeling is so bad…not bad actually, more emotive….It’s like my heart is beating irregularly…like I’ve put 300 pounds on my heart…like I can’t think, can’t do anything….It’s not the outcome I’m worrying about, I just need to know….whether it’s positive or negative – it’s just the answer I need to know… I feel like squirrels are dancing in my stomach….in my heart….It’s like my world is spinning around this waiting…my world has stopped…but it’s still going…like time is not present here…but it’s still ticking as fast as before…like I’m over obsessed ….but still not caring… Such controversial feelings and emotions going through me… I don’t think I’ll feel destroyed if I fail, but I know I’ll be the happiest person in world if I pass.. It could give me the confidence I have always been searching for…what I need to be satisfied with myself, you know?….What is the answer?… is it YES, is it NO? I just need to know… I just need to know immediately….I really do….

“do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”

The neverendless question – how to achieve the best? how to earn the biggest money? how to live the fullest life? …and today I’m here to tell you my interpretation of the particular answer..

Let me as always begin with the problem of ours- we’re all paranoid… no,no,I’m not – that’s what you are probably thinking now… Today I’ll talk about who I mean while using such a strong word – “all”. I got to admit I’m one of those person’s who really cares about financial, physical and mental safety… yes, I do… See I’m paranoid…why? Because I’m going down a path were the grass isn’t growing anymore…way too many people have done the same thing befoe me…and many will follow…If you look closely at the people who are on top of their game, they’re all revolutionists…they have made something out of nothing… but we’re keeping something of something alive… as if that was needed… See Albert Einstein used to say “Any idea that does not seem crazy at first, is worth nothing at all” and that is true… I guess the reason why many people chose  “the safety path” is because they care too much of what others think of them…that’s the way world is now..there’s nothing you can do to change the world, you can be one of the “crazy” person’s who make a change in their own lifes. So the other day I was watching E! True Hollywood story (I don’t remember of whom), there was a man who said words that are stuck in my head – “See the thing is, many people come to Hollywood to become famous, therefore only few of them understand what it means” .. and I believe that this sentence is true in so many ways… because you can’t reach the top if you are aiming for the biggest salary… you have to make your job worth the biggest salary first, because if someone else does it- he recieves it… and that is the simple secret why people can’t be at the very top… See I believe in this case there’re 3 kinds of people:

1) People who have no remarkable idea’s, because they have assumed that the ones they have thought of are not good enough… See their biggest problems are  

               a) They don’t believe they’re good enough to achieve something in life. WHY? One reason may be that they have some self-confidence issue, which is oftenly obtained in school, where teachers are not doing enough to put “the bad boys” on the row…

              b)They are lazy and are not ready to put a hard work in a process they believe is impossible to become something bright… see from this one there comes another problem- they are afraid of the thoughts of the others…

             c) They never achieve something more than “average citizen” … some people are happy this way – then they are doing nothing wrong, therefore, the ones who are unhappy living this life may rethink their values 🙂 ..

2) People who have good ieas but by somewhat reason they are afraid to develop it…their biggest issues are

             a)  they are afraid of failure… but they fail anyways…because fear is the biggest failure

             b) they know they can achieve everything if they had a little more of that…little more of this… so they give up after a while

3)People who have good ideas, they invest all they have into developing the idea, later getting back what they had never imagined.

So basically THE SECRET is walking a path no one has walked before instead of blindly following something many people have done before you… And at the end the easiest is what first seems hardest.. because creating something absolutely new is way easier than trying to discover a new America in a place with population over 2 000 000 people. Be creative, produce ideas and never fear developing them! 🙂