impatience

Why am I so impatient?Don’t tell me I’m alone…I honestly don’t know what is worse than waiting for me…Been waiting for the exam results for 1,5days now…it feels like 2 weeks already…I know that the results will be available tomorrow…but that is so long…My life can change….I did the biggest step last week by passing the maths test…but this one… who knows… nobody is sure about the results, they are unpredictable…It’s so frustrating to wait… I’m freaking out…. This is a life changing step for me….I mean a step forward my dreams I had almost given up on….the biggest step I could make now…a huge step actually…I wasn’t nervous writing it, only waiting is what is so unbelievably hard…I can’t be the only one to be impatient, can I? I mean why are we so nervous about the waiting phase? I guess it’s because we realize there’s nothing we can do but wait….and the feeling is so bad…not bad actually, more emotive….It’s like my heart is beating irregularly…like I’ve put 300 pounds on my heart…like I can’t think, can’t do anything….It’s not the outcome I’m worrying about, I just need to know….whether it’s positive or negative – it’s just the answer I need to know… I feel like squirrels are dancing in my stomach….in my heart….It’s like my world is spinning around this waiting…my world has stopped…but it’s still going…like time is not present here…but it’s still ticking as fast as before…like I’m over obsessed ….but still not caring… Such controversial feelings and emotions going through me… I don’t think I’ll feel destroyed if I fail, but I know I’ll be the happiest person in world if I pass.. It could give me the confidence I have always been searching for…what I need to be satisfied with myself, you know?….What is the answer?… is it YES, is it NO? I just need to know… I just need to know immediately….I really do….

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