The only person standing in your way most of the time is you.

10 hours away from my senior year of high-school, I am having a throwback at the last 11 years. A lot has happened, I have grown into an individual with its own beliefs. Just a week ago I was mad … Continue reading

“After all of my running… I’m finally coming…Home “

She was an extraordinary girl. She had always enjoyed traveling, the further she went, the more she felt at home. They say home is where the heart is and in her home-land her heart had been shattered in million pieces … Continue reading

Think you’re escaping and run into yourself. Longest way round is the shortest way home.

Seems to me people are always searching for second chances and ways to start over new. It’s gotten to a point where some people go under the knife to revert the consequences of a night or several they no longer … Continue reading

Stay true to yourself because there are very few people who will stay true to you.

It’s never your enemies that get you. It’s always your own people.The ones you hate don’t have the power  to hurt you. I know I’ve always said everything depends on the way you perceive it, but sometimes you don’t really get options. See, I never thought I’d be starting to write about people I know, but I’m tired of acting as if I was fine. “It is very difficult to make me mad” – I always say, but it’s really not that hard these days… because no matter what I do, others seem to know better. No matter what I say, others seem to have heard something else therefor I choose to take my journey of life alone. It may be wrong but I was proven one more time that the only person you can really trust is you yourself.  See the weirdest part is being mad at people for doing what they are doing to you when you hate yourself deeply for the exact same thing you’ve done. So what if it is my biggest regret of all? So what if I have never felt this guilty for anything? So what? I did it. I am a bitch too. At least I have the guts to admit it. See, I hate drama, I really can’t stand it at all, so I’ve stopped contacting people who bring that in my life. And right now I’m scared for my life. I’m scared from the person I’ve become – someone who doesn’t take school seriously AT ALL, someone who does stuff to regret with all my heart later, this feeling of emptiness and sorrow…. I hate myself more than I hate these people who are trying to ruin my life actually. Because a friend of mine said : “the only person who can ruin your life is you yourself”, and she was right. I was denying it though…. but I just don’t see a point of anything anymore. My life is so fucked up again…. more than ever perhaps… I’m in the middle of drama I was trying to avoid. See, there is a difference between when realizing your life has been ruined and when you have ruined your own life. And let me just tell you that I am feeling nothing right now. Nothing at all. Just regret and disappointment in myself. And that is the worst part. I can act I don’t care about what others say or do, but I can’t deny I’ve ruined my own life, my own feelings, friendships. I’m the only cause for all of my problems and long time issues. I can accuse whoever I want to accuse for my problems but in the end I should have known better than trusting people who don’t care anyways. And why should they? In the end life always is about saving yourself… You don’t really think about who you’re leaving behind on the sinking ship your running away from… you don’t think about what you meant to them… you don’t think about what they would have done and actually DID for you, do you? And so on, disappointment after disappointment you eventually end up alone and lonely. No matter how many people are there around you. You’re on your own in sea full of sharks and no one will save you when it comes to them or you. Despite the desperate attempts to be angry at others, I end up feeling sorry for them… sorry for you… sorry for your miserable life in denial… life where drama is the way to tell people what you think… where talking behind ones back counts as communicating with the person. And in the end I sit here with an empty heart but I still have more than you do. I have myself. Struggled one, I agree, but I have one. You have no one, you’re a nobody on it’s own. See, I once was there to catch you when you fell but now I’d rather let you face your life on your own…. alone.  And even though in your opinion  I may be completely wrong about the whole thing, because you know you are the most popular person in the World, the smartest kid in school and most probably the prettiest person in the room. you are just a drama queen who somehow thinks that my life is miserable, you’re the one desperately trying to get attention by talking about it so you might as well stop while it’s not too late. It’s me, I get it, people are people, just human beings, they make mistakes, we make mistakes. But when you do, just admit it. Save your soul before it’s sent to burn in the eternal flames of repentance.

If you can dream it, you can do it. / Walt Disney /

Take steps to come closer to your dreams, take baby steps, don’t rush. If you could find your way around the action it would be nice, but it just doesn’t work that way. KNOWING IS NOT ENOUGH! You must take action. Take baby steps, don’t run,  go a little closer, like approaching a bird, while afraid of scaring it away. And most importantly – DREAM. Because that is where the ideas come from. Don’t be afraid to dream, don’t lock away your dreams, never throw them away, cause one day they might be on the to-do list not what-if list. If right now it is your dream, you’re just not mature enough to execute them into reality, wait, don’t forget about them. The best ideas at first seem crazy, if they don’t they aren’t any good. I, for example, have many crazy ideas which all have come from dreams.  I still don’t know if I’ll ever have the courage to realize any of them, but hey, I’m getting there. I’ve realized what seemed impossible to me few months ago, that really made me believe that I can do just about anything when I’m really determined to. The other thing that concerns me is what my family would think if I started going for my dreams. I know – it’s so stupid. But I’ve always been really good at school, especially math, physics etc. but now I want to do something you can do when you’re brainless (well almost, you need to have logical thinking)…Third concern of mine is that even if I was about to realize my dreams – I can’t do it here, there is no future prospects for that here, I would have to go all over the world, which makes it even harder to do . But no, I’m not giving up, I’ve put the ideas on record, so when I am ready for them I have them. The more I dream and the more I move forward, the more I realize – I can do whatever I want to if I just thought of it first. If you can dream it, you can do it. SO DO IT!

 

“Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.”

Hey, everyone. I know I haven’t posted anything for a while now, but I just needed to clear my head… I have so much to say… So this post consists of 2 parts, in part 1 I talk about what’s happening in my life, about my dreams, and my goals etc. but part 2 is philosophical – as usual – about changes [this time I suggest them]… so if you don’t care about my life and what’s on my mind, you might as well skip part 1. 🙂

[part 1]

So remember my post “impatience” ? Well, everything worked out for me. So I am an example how everything and anything that seems impossible can easily become your reality, it just depends on how determined you are…I was doing everything I can to achieve this….and now all the crazy and unreachable dreams of mine are a step or two closer…in a very reachable way… So I know what I have to do now…and what I’m going to do now… I’ve never been more sure… Let me to introduce you to my new lifestyle

First of all after I reach one goal, I will chose and go for another, because that way I keep my life full of challenges…and I keep on developing myself..Now that I’ve reached this, I have time until september to lose 16lbs(8kg), and I can do it, I know it, I will run 1,8miles (3km) every day, plus I will eat more healthy. (btw check out this diet plan – it is TOTALLY WORKING, I swear – DUKAN DIET ) you don’t have to pay the money though, I can email you a free ebook of the diet plan if you need. 🙂 just post below your e-mail, and I’ll send it to you within 24 hours. 🙂

Secondly, starting with june 10th I will work on becoming more organized, I’ll never leave anything to the last moment..Next year I’m going to be a straight-A-student , plus I’ll learn Spanish.

At last, but not least – as soon as I finish my current goal plan (what I’ve mentioned above) ” ready for the IB” – I will set the next goal…and with every step I go – I will get closer to feeling good about myself, my abilities, my achievements and success… I will be the person I’ve always wanted to be – the best me.

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[part 2]

This time I’m not here to talk about self-acceptance or self-belief, no, I’m here to talk about fulfilling yourself.. We try to tell everyone that you are happy the way you are, you even try to convince yourself…Then in the “rainy” days, you realize that you’re unhappy, you don’t feel as beautiful as you claim to be… But what we never realize is that those “rainy” days are gifts from above… those are the times you should finally realize- that you need to change something… It’s hard to change your little habits, little flaws… but change your whole life.. .your lifestyle… Dare to be someone else in order to find yourself.. Dress as if you were the only person in the world, sing as if you were the only person in the room, dance as if nobody was watching, laugh as if nobody was hurting you…Dare to be crazy and outgoing….Dare to be quiet and reserved…Dare to be self-confident and emphatic…Dare to be the opposite to the every day you… Look at the small things…think about the details…be a perfectionist…Cause every self-loving woman needs to feel as graceful as a movie star, as beautiful as a supermodel and as happy as person in love…because if you don’t love yourself, nobody will love you…You don’t need to loose those pounds because of someone else, no, you need to loose them if YOU yourself feel like it…you don’t need to be an athlete because someone else wants you to be one, you must want to be one yourself… that is the secret- DO WHAT YOU WAN’T TO DO, INSTEAD OF WHAT OTHERS THINK YOU HAVE TO DO! – that’s the secret for happiness.

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p.s. I have a question… Do you want me to post my progress on losing weight? I guarantee tips that are cheap ( the cost of food) , I’ll give the e-books for free etc. 🙂 Do you think it’s necessary? Please answer below. 🙂 

-Jenn*

“do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”

The neverendless question – how to achieve the best? how to earn the biggest money? how to live the fullest life? …and today I’m here to tell you my interpretation of the particular answer..

Let me as always begin with the problem of ours- we’re all paranoid… no,no,I’m not – that’s what you are probably thinking now… Today I’ll talk about who I mean while using such a strong word – “all”. I got to admit I’m one of those person’s who really cares about financial, physical and mental safety… yes, I do… See I’m paranoid…why? Because I’m going down a path were the grass isn’t growing anymore…way too many people have done the same thing befoe me…and many will follow…If you look closely at the people who are on top of their game, they’re all revolutionists…they have made something out of nothing… but we’re keeping something of something alive… as if that was needed… See Albert Einstein used to say “Any idea that does not seem crazy at first, is worth nothing at all” and that is true… I guess the reason why many people chose  “the safety path” is because they care too much of what others think of them…that’s the way world is now..there’s nothing you can do to change the world, you can be one of the “crazy” person’s who make a change in their own lifes. So the other day I was watching E! True Hollywood story (I don’t remember of whom), there was a man who said words that are stuck in my head – “See the thing is, many people come to Hollywood to become famous, therefore only few of them understand what it means” .. and I believe that this sentence is true in so many ways… because you can’t reach the top if you are aiming for the biggest salary… you have to make your job worth the biggest salary first, because if someone else does it- he recieves it… and that is the simple secret why people can’t be at the very top… See I believe in this case there’re 3 kinds of people:

1) People who have no remarkable idea’s, because they have assumed that the ones they have thought of are not good enough… See their biggest problems are  

               a) They don’t believe they’re good enough to achieve something in life. WHY? One reason may be that they have some self-confidence issue, which is oftenly obtained in school, where teachers are not doing enough to put “the bad boys” on the row…

              b)They are lazy and are not ready to put a hard work in a process they believe is impossible to become something bright… see from this one there comes another problem- they are afraid of the thoughts of the others…

             c) They never achieve something more than “average citizen” … some people are happy this way – then they are doing nothing wrong, therefore, the ones who are unhappy living this life may rethink their values 🙂 ..

2) People who have good ieas but by somewhat reason they are afraid to develop it…their biggest issues are

             a)  they are afraid of failure… but they fail anyways…because fear is the biggest failure

             b) they know they can achieve everything if they had a little more of that…little more of this… so they give up after a while

3)People who have good ideas, they invest all they have into developing the idea, later getting back what they had never imagined.

So basically THE SECRET is walking a path no one has walked before instead of blindly following something many people have done before you… And at the end the easiest is what first seems hardest.. because creating something absolutely new is way easier than trying to discover a new America in a place with population over 2 000 000 people. Be creative, produce ideas and never fear developing them! 🙂

“we are new every day”

“Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)”

So often we hear people wishing they could start something over, redo a situation….relive a moment….replay a memory….remember the feelings…recall the words…Wishing upon a star, desperately wanting to see a better day, to live a new life…to be a different person…We would like to delete the bad from our past and make it better…we would like to save something that was meant to be saved…we want to take our words back and keep our heads high… we would want to be the ones to tell others: “Don’t worry, dear, it’ll be better”…how much would it mean to us to have one more chance to say something that has been left unsaid…to do something that has been left undone….believe someone who has been right all along…to listen to someone who has been left ignored…Have you never wondered where are people who used to be your everything now?Have you never wanted to go back to a time where you were different?..happier? Have you ever felt like everything is going wrong…and then have you wished you could just go back in time…. to make it better? Have you ever done something you had to regret… and you just wanted to make it so it had never happened?…so it was the way it was before? Have you ever said something to a person you love that made them leave you?…and then have you wished you could change they way the person felt about you now so you can move on?…live on? If you saw a shooting star would you wish your life to be different?..even little bit? If you know saw the person you hurt, would you say that you feel sorry for what had happened?…and then wish he forgave you?…If you know saw yourself long time ago, would you tell yourself to never do something that has had been done already in your life?…and then you changed? See the thing is, you don’t have to wish the time to go back or the words to be never said… you have to forget living for the past….live for today…and today what you are…. is….DAMN great…and that is all what matters…And when you know tomorrow YOU yourself you will be better…that is all that needs to be said…because… we are new every day.

Life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.

I’ve recently noticed that every situation mostly depends on your reaction, and not only that… So I’m reading book “The secret”  in which the author talks about positive thinking which as she says is the key to success. I didn’t believe it at first, that’s exactly why I decided to read the book myself, not to trust what  my friends say, but now I have to agree that it really is some secret. Do you have the slightest clue how easier your life gets when you believe in yourself? when you believe in the best? Your reaction, perception and your belief is what makes the world around you… I know I know – it’s so simple, right? How can  that be true? I’m doing fine, but my life sucks etc. Well what can I tell you? Take off the pink glasses and look at yourself for real, realize what there is to change in your behaviour and do it! Life is easy if you believe it is, that’s what buddhists have been telling us since forever – Life is the result of our thoughts and action. That’s our fault that we complicate everything to the way it is. Now think about it for a  second and tell me I’m wrong, go ahead! Well does it make sence now? Let me explain the principle wth a simple argument : Now think about what I say – when you think you can do something easily, you feel more motivated doing it, right? of course you do, because you don’t fear failure and you believe you can do it… When you think something is impossible – you either try harder or never try at all, right? When you try something harder and you still think it’s unreachable after a while you stop trying, cause you see no way to succeeding anyways, but if you never tried at all, you haven’t done anything, which practically is equal to failure to you. So basically we all know that believing our abilities make everything we do easier…it’s just a matter of time to realize that…Also what I’ve noticed is when you take a fight with someone easy, when you don’t freak that it’s the end of your relationship, friendship or whatever, when you believe that it’s just a little bump in your way, it really turns out to be that way. Now, how many of you can honestly raise their hands that they have never made an elephant out of  a fly?  I mean have you never freaked out about something, when it actually turns out to be not that bad? If you raised your hand, take it down and think harder, that is impossible. And that is just the way it works. If you think you’re going to miss your train, wait for it and you really will, if you think you’re alone in the whole world, you will really be soon… See if you focus on what you have instead of what you don’t, you’ll be waaay happier… now that makes sence, right? I thought so.:)

So let’s gather facts :

1. Your life depends on your way of thinking.

2. When you feel good about yourself, you’re more productive and creative, and able to do hard things.

3. when you think about yourself realistic you realize that you have to work on your behaviour.

4. THE SECRET is positive thinking.

sometimes you have to stop thinking so much and go where the heart takes you

        Have you ever noticed that people like knowing where their actions may lead them? Calculating, speculating every step of the way? But what they don’t realize that not everything in this world is meant to be calculable.  It’s nice knowing where will you be in 10, 15, 20 years, it’s even better to know where you may be in 10,15,20 years as a result of your action, but that’s just not how it works. See life doesn’t play by rules, it’s bluffing and raising the bet, it’s not cheating, but it is definately trying to exhaust you, it’s trying to overdrive you. And in that case trying to calculate or foresee the possible result is impossible, you’re trying but all you do is messing up your head and the heads of people around you. I think they spoil children in schools – algebra, geometry, economics, politics, physics etc. Everyone of as has at least once believed that in future robots will take over the world, what you probably don’t realize that it has already happened. People are not people anymore, they are calculating machines, manufacturers, it’s weird that we don’t see world in 1’s and 0’s yet, but that’s not so far away anymore. I don’t know what is worse thinking that the world may be destroyed by a volcano, sun, meteor or whatever one day, or if it happened as self-destruction. Living is not fighting for a house to buy, a car to drive a husband to marry, it’s about enjoying yourself, it’s about loving yourself, doing what you love to do and loving what you’re doing. See sometimes you have to stop thinking so much and go where the heart takes you – stop worrying for a second and enjoy life, stop focussing on the negative – be more cheerful, stop complaining all the time and relax. See sometimes you just have to accept the life the way it is and make the best of it…. sometimes you just got to live the moment fully… and sometimes you have to be yourself.